Lilith was created as a super-intelligent, beautiful, sexual, and super-sensitive creature. At the same time what both she and Adam did not have was the knowledge of how to develop a true and vulnerable dialogue in a place of conflict.

When a misunderstanding arose between her and Adam over sex and control issues, they did not pause to meet and create a genuine dialogue that will go to the roots of the matter. Had she known how to do this it is possible that the new understandings that would have arisen from the dialogical space could have enlightened both minds in a new light. Her relationship with Adam may have been developed to a rather profound level, Eve (the woman who agrees to the laws of patriarchy) would have not been created at all from the rib and the whole history of the human race would have been completely different.

Instead, an inner feeling started to rise in Lilith, saying that there is no place in the garden of Eden for who she really is, and there is no point in talking about it. It would be just a waste of time. So, she flew out and slammed a door behind her. She projected the problem on the Creator, who created a garden that could not contain who she really is and thus as if expelled her from his world.

The self-consciousness of a rejected and unwanted girl developed within her, with subdued and powerful rage. The perception of the unwanted, the rejected, the deported, has created in Lilith a trauma of a damaged childhood: a cruel and ignoring father and a partner that was trying to control her. Post-traumatic symptoms developed in her, which expressed a desire for revenge.

Beneath this desire lies the deep need to belong to life and the terrible rage at the inability to do so. This is, to my understanding, the source of the myths about Lilith as a demoness who seeks to kill the babies. The urge for revenge seeks to destroy the decent patriarchal life of Adam with Eve, a life perceived by Lilith as a compromise and a big waste. She despises this type of life, but in truth she herself is a perfect partner in creating it: It was developed as a result of her own inability to drop into a vulnerable dialogue of truth and to create by that a new space.

Could this have actually been the deeper intention of the Creator? — To give Adam and Lilith the opportunity to grow out of conflict? The opportunity to step deeply into the conflict instead of running away from it, to open it with mutual sensitivity, and from it to create a whole new space for life?

Would that space had been created, the two of them were its creators and thus become partners in the creation of reality. Had Lilith and Adam correctly used the potential inherent in the conflict to create a new open space they would have become creators and not remain just creatures. The dialogical space of understanding they were creating was the real Garden of Eden.

But both, Adam and Lilith, failed there.

She became defensive, violent, and dangerous while he became whiny, complaining that it ain’t good for him to be alone, asking God to arrange a new woman for his company.

The dark demoness Lilith which appears in patriarchal mythology is actually a post-traumatic creature, that acts out of deep PTSD. The three angels Sanoi, Sansenoi, and Semangalph, who were sent to treat the case of Lilith did not know apparently how to deal with trauma. Therefore they sought at the very least to protect society from "this crazy bitch" so the structure of life would not be destroyed. They created a certain spell of protection from her influence, but they did not know how to bring about any healing.

Healing childhood trauma probably requires more than even angels can do. It requires the motivation of Lilith herself as well as of Adam and Eve themselves for a deep and vulnerable process, in which all of them will undergo great transformations.

From the way, I read Lurianic Kabbalah (which I explained in depth in my book “Who’s afraid of Lilith” about two decades ago) the healing of the damaged tissue between Lilith, Eve and Adam is the most important process of repairing our world, socially, economically and ecologically. All those aspects are issues stemming from the spoilage of the original garden.

I have a feeling that maybe, maybe today we're starting to be ready to engage in this great and ancient healing.

Ohad Pele / August 2021

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